We met as you entered the trauma bay. You were awake, scared and not completely sure how you ended up here. You were in an accident with your friend. On your side, there was significant intrusion. When you presented to the trauma room, you had a beautiful complexion.
Suddenly, you became pale, and your skin was clammy. Your eyes were a striking color, like sea glass. Beautiful. The day we met, you were scared. You had many providers asking you questions, calling out descriptions and ordering tests. But your blood pressure began to drop. At that moment you grabbed my scrub top, a fist of my uniform was in your hand, and you did not want to let go.
I tried to loosen your fingers, but you were clenching with all your strength. I placed my hand over yours and reassured you that we were doing everything we could to save your life. You eventually loosened your grip and we wisped you away to our CT department so we could obtain images.
Later that night, my assistant nurse manager gave me a blank stare. She walked slowly towards me and apologized. She said you had passed away while on the operating room table. I felt my stomach drop and didn’t know what to say or how to react. The car accident you were in was serious and I sat in silence the remainder of my shift. I wanted to share this experience with someone and the heartbreak I felt but I soon realized I had no one to call at that late hour in the night. I struggled to sleep the next two nights and then things changed.
You brought a new perspective into my life. Because of you, I try to turn around negative situations and bring more hope to patients and family members. I find myself taking an extra glance around the house each morning, making sure I tell my family I love them before I leave. It is because of you and while I will never know if today will be my last, you have brought this perspective into my life. I am so grateful and thankful for you.